Cotton Candy Dreams

By Tulah Dixie

Pete stood in the dark, clutching his cotton candy cone, wondering if he had made the right decision. The last of the circus patrons had left the arena, heading to their cars and back to their lives. But Pete’s life had changed, he couldn’t go back. Tonight he had seen Tonya Tightwalker.

When he had walked into the circus arena that evening, he’d wondered what he had come for. He wasn’t a kid, he didn’t have any kids. He just saw the flyer at the gas station and felt compelled to go. He’d taken a seat at the far side of the arena, near the acrobat swings and tightrope. There were plenty of seats open in front on the center ring, but he had ignored those.

Pete had watched the lion tamer, the fire-breather, the clowns, and he had oohed and ahhed and laughed along with the crowd. It was an exciting circus, but there was probably something good on tv, so why was he here? That’s when Tonya came into view. The lights had dimmed, except for a single spotlight at the base of the tightrope ladder. Then a petite girl appeared in the light, wearing lightest pink, climbing the ladder with spider-like ease. As she began walking across the thin rope, umbrella unfurled, Pete caught his breath. Something about her seemed familiar, though he knew he’d never seen her before. The ringleader called out her name, the unbelievable heights and lengths she had walked, demanding the audience to pay close attention, to appreciate her. Pete appreciated her. In fact, he loved her.

Tonya Tightwalker strolled across the wire as though it were ten feet wide. Her umbrella seemed just a prop, her balance was perfect. When she reached the platform on the other side, she turned and smiled at the audience. Pete could sense that that beaming smile was just for him. He stood up and clapped as loudly as he could, wanting her to see him, to know that he loved and appreciated her.

Tanya made her return trip across the high wire, smiling, almost laughing. She reached the platform and waved and bowed for the audience, then made her way back down the ladder, pausing at the base to bow again, then disappeared from sight.

The rest of the evening was a blur to Pete. He didn’t even try to pay attention. His thoughts were a million miles away, trying to figure out a way to meet Tanya. He didn’t have any skills worthy of the circus. He was uncoordinated to say the least. He hadn’t had much experience with women, he was too shy.

As the circus neared its end, Pete still hadn’t thought of a way to meet his dream girl. Suddenly a picture came to his mind of a scene from a movie he had recently seen. A man had fallen in love, and went to the girl’s home with a bouquet of pink roses to woo her. She had opened the door, seen the roses, and fallen into his embrace. That seemed easy enough. But where was he going to find roses?

Pete was startled out of his thoughts by the lights being turned on. He looked around and saw all the circus patrons gathering belongings, standing and stretching, heading for the exits. He had to do something quick! He stood up and started following the departing audience, his stomach in knots. What to do, what to do? Then, as he passed the concessions, he noticed the cotton candy vendor, selling his last wares before closing up. The cotton candy in its paper cone looked a lot like a bouquet of pink roses! He quickly bought one, then turned around and headed back to the arena. He had to find where Tanya’s dressing room was.

After fifteen minutes of aimless wandering, Pete happened upon a clown with half of his makeup scrubbed off. “Do-do you know where T-Tanya’s dressing room is?” he stuttered. The clown pointed behind him, and Pete saw a row of doors down a nearby hallway. Pete nodded his thanks and walked towards the doors. The hallway was dark, and the paper cone of the cotton candy was getting crumpled a bit in his sweaty hand. He squinted at each door until he found one with a piece of paper with “Tanya” scribbled on it taped on it. He took a deep breath, raised his hand, and knocked the door. After a few minutes it opened a crack, and there was Tanya, peeking out, wearing a ratty brown robe and no makeup. “Can I help you?” she asked. Her voice was rough, like a chain-smoker’s. Pete just stared at her. He noticed her hair was no longer in beautiful blond curls, but was dark and short. Then he noticed she was frowning.

“Do you want something?” she asked, obviously getting annoyed. Pete thrust the cotton candy at her. “Flowers for you,” he said in a weak voice. Tanya glared at him.

“Look, I’m busy here. Let’s just cut the crap.” She started to close the door, but Pete stopped her. “Doesn’t this cotton candy look like a bouquet? I thought you might like it.”

Tanya’s face softened a bit. “That’s really nice of you, but I’m dating the motorcycle ball rider right now, so I can’t accept it.” This time she did close the door.

Pete stood in the dark hallway for a few minutes, feeling a bit in shock. What had happened to the angel on the tightrope? Why couldn’t she just take his bouquet? He slowly turned and walked away from her door, out of the arena, and to his car. He would never go to the circus again.